I almost wish we were butterflies

I almost wish we were butterflies and lived but three summer days – three such days with you i could fill with more delight than fifty common years could ever contain.

                    ~ John Keats

Advertisements

Dreaming

My Dear Beloved,

I don’t know whether it could be considered “jumping on the band-wagon” or more aptly “falling off the wagon”; but either way, I’ve made some dramatic life changes.

I quit drinking AND smoking. Cold turkey. No cravings. In THE MOST STRESSFUL time of my life.

From my mother almost dying, weekly, weakly, for a month. Only to show great improvement and then crash again. Add to that all the driving I have to do. At night. In the rain. Daily.

But wait, that’s not all. There’s also the issue of last weeks storm with cricket ball size hail knocking out four of my windows. Which still haven’t been replaced, because the insurance company has us jumping through hoops.

Which in turn affects me at work because hey, guess what? It wasn’t just my complex hit, but 35 others that we manage. I cannot even describe to you how busy I was this week. And abused. Fuck me I didn’t know such rude people existed.

And then the cherry on top. No Beloved. That one needs no further explanation, for the pain is felt and cannot be described.

So amongst all that, I gave up two of my vices; have retained the last remaining one (I don’t need to tell you what that is *wink*); and have picked up an old one.

I’ll tell you about that soon. I know you will be happy for me, but truthfully … I don’t want you to be. But you will be, because that’s just who you are.

I wanted everything to be very different to what it is.

But I’m learning (with the help of the Cards) to play the best hand with what I was dealt.

Sometimes I think I dreamt it.

I wish this was just a dream.

To know I could just let go, because at the end of it, I would awake in my favouite place in the world 🙂

What did Peter Pan say about dreams?

XXX